We all know the standard places to look for money when you really need it, but I was thinking about the funny places I have found money to use for the Tooth Fairy visit.  Not always/often being prepared for the visit, I decided I should start stashing more cash in the event I needed it. I asked around and began searching for creative places to hide money in hopes  I would be ready the next time, that is if I can remember where I hid it. You see, money doesn’t last long in my wallet, so I must be creative if I want cash on hand. Wait I take that back, sometimes money will last a few days or a week in my wallet untouched because I will use a credit card in order to protect and save the cash.  Unfortunately for me, once I break the seal it’s almost always gone within hours. It is because of this ridiculous way I handle cash in my wallet, that I should hide cash in my home… you know, just in case.

Freezer:  This is one of my favorite places to hide/find money.  My grandpa was a funny man and he would keep “cold cash” in the freezer, just in case.  I’m doubtful he was ever thinking about hiding money to avoid a Tooth Fairy fail though.

Bra:  My nana used to store cash in her clothing.  Just the other day, my mom and I were cleaning out her drawers and found cash in her bra.  

Couch:  This is an obvious one I have been known to scour a time or two.  Usually, I only come up with a few coins and a lot of crumbs, but apparently, some college kids found over $40,000 in a couch.  If only I could be so lucky.

Pockets:  I think we’ve all been there; doing laundry and emptying pockets when it actually pays off, literally.  These are the only moments I enjoy touching dirty clothes, or folding clean ones for that matter. Sometimes I find clean money and I’m not going to lie, I always feel extra lucky when this happens.

Shoes:  This is a very sneaky place to hide money, but don’t be surprised if the cash absorbs the odor.  I had a friend that discovered this the hard way and then decided to hide the money in potpourri.  Apparently, that didn’t go over too well either, so she finally decided to spend it.

Socks:  Hopefully the money will be hidden in clean socks, as to avoid the odor like the previous hiding spot, but be careful not to hide it in an old sock without a partner, because it may easily get tossed out if you are wildly KonMari-ing.

Under the Mattress:  Beware if hiding money hear because it is the number one place burglars look for cash.  Also, not a good place to hide cash if you have a cleaning lady that changes sheets. I know a woman who got very lucky because she hid about $1,000 and the people changing her sheets missed it.  

Coffee Cup:  I know a very smart lady that stores money in a coffee cup, but there was one day  she (in her tired state), poured her husband’s coffee in her secret stash travel mug.  He picked up his coffee, left for work, drank the coffee, and set his cup on the sink once home.  When she went to rinse out the cup, she realized her BREW-tal error.

Car:  There is always searching in and around the front seats of a car to find spare change.  I like to keep it in crevasses and hard to reach places in the car, rather than in those nifty little coin slots because… kids.  I don’t have time to separate it out anymore. I do, however, know someone who keeps money in the owner’s manual of her car in case she gets stranded.  Brilliant, unless you leave your car at a friend’s house because you Uber-ed home from a wild and crazy Bunco night with your mom friends.

Potted Plant:  I’ve heard two horror stories about hiding money hear and yet both people still hide money in pots.  The first: money in an envelope, folded in half, taped to the bottom of a potted plant. They got hosed when they didn’t think it through and watered the plant.  The water seeped through the bottom and when the envelope was opened (years later), the money was moldy. The second: money in a plastic bag hidden in the soil of a potted plant.  This clever guy forgot which pot he hid his money in and dug through nearly all of his plants to find it.

Flour Container:  It seems like a terrible idea to hide money in flour.  Not only do I hate flour because it is right up there with glitter when it comes to an annoying mess to clean up, but also money in anything I will be ingesting (even if it’s in a plastic bag) seems gross.  But I’d venture to guess it’s a good hiding spot.

CD Case:  My husband has a friend who hides money in the song lyrics of a CD case.  I think it was all good and well hidden back when CD’s existed. Now it looks weird being the only CD on the shelf.  I suppose switching to a DVD case isn’t a terrible idea. Maybe I’ll suggest it to him next time.

Door:  There have been people that fold their money so it fits under the bottom of a door and uses tape lengthwise to adhere it.  I’m assuming it wasn’t a bathroom door and if it was, then I’m assuming they don’t have toddlers who slide their little fingers under the door when all you want is to pee in peace.

Pen:  Remember back in the day when it was a thing to roll up a tiny piece of paper with tiny answers on it, unscrew a clear pen and slide it inside?  Well same theory, although I would argue that you may want to use an opaque pen. Moreover, I suggest hiding your pen somewhere up high and out of the way, where you’ll probably never find it, just so your kids won’t use it and lose it, or your husband won’t take it into the garage where it’ll never be found.

Cereal boxes:  My husband’s grandparents did this with thousands of dollars.  This doesn’t seem like such a terrible idea, but they would then put these cereal boxes in the oven.  What!?! First of all, what if you forget they are in the oven and turn it on preheat? Secondly, if someone were to open the oven, curiosity would surely get the best of them.  

Your kid’s room:  Now I don’t suggest hiding money in your kid’s piggy bank because they may unscrew the thing and move the cash to one of many play purses they have.  But once I hid a giant wad of cash in my room (I don’t remember why, or how I got it, but I promise I wasn’t a pigtailed drug dealer) and our house was broken into.  The burglars tore through every room but mine. I think it had something to do with the Care Bear wallpaper.

Where ever you hide your money, be sure to make note of it in a file on your computer that you will forget, or put a note in your phone using a code which you will also forget, or if you still favor paper and pen (like yours truly) write it down and lose it in the stack of paper that you will “get to one day.”